Recovery?

Sometimes, you come across this ONE song that you feel is written about you. There is just this special something about it that hits home. Lyrics that speak to you on a level that makes you go “YES! THIS!” and you hit that Repeat button.

At the end of March, I found myself once again blown away by a song from my LORDS AND SAVIORS that are BURY TOMORROW. Their new album – and the first with the new line up – had just dropped, and the previously released singles already hinted at “The Seventh Sun” being a banger front to back.

Indeed.

I kinda live-tweeted my impressions on my feed, and then … there was “Recovery?”. My jaw dropped. The intro alone already had me hooked. The chorus is SO catchy that all I can say is “Good luck TRYING to get that one out of your head again!”

So after listening to the album for the first time, I went back to “Recovery?” and couldn’t stop listening to it.

This line nails it:

The scars that you wear, they’re a sign of your strength

I mean, the whole song is one heck of an anthem, but that line hit home.

As y’all know from previous posts, I do have scars, too. The majority of them is hidden, as they’re on my inside. On my very soul. Scars from all the pain and hurt I experienced. The mental, emotional and verbal abuse. All that. You cannot see them. But *I* FEEL them. They are there. Undeniable.

And sometimes, when the light falls in in a certain angle and you look really close, you can see some thin white lines on my left forearm. Scars from when I’d cut myself. Remains of what I went through all those years ago.

No, I am not proud of what I did to myself back then. The self-harm. Ignoring the signs my body was giving me because it had gotten TOO MUCH. Because I was shamed into silence. If I spoke up, I got to hear I was looking for attention. Which is, as we all know, one of, if not THE biggest misconception when it comes to depression or any other mental illness.

I am not proud of any of that. At all.

BUT.

I am proud of my survival. I am proud that I made it. That I am here today.

My scars are there – and they will forever remind me of having pulled through. Of having SURVIVED.

If that isn’t a sign of strength, then I don’t even know.

I was at Rock Bottom. Done with life. My mind was the knife (that is also mentioned on the lyrics of “Recovery?”), my thoughts the cuts.

Many people still believe that having a mental illness such as depression or anxiety are weak. But are we really? I beg to differ! My story already shows that – I am a survivor. And I have the scars to prove it.

I am not ashamed of any of them. If anything, they’re like my Badge of Honor.

I may be broken, and still be on the Road to Recovery, but the fact alone that I am able to be on that very road is something that shows strength. I didn’t give up, even if it was close.

I will now leave you with this absolute ANTHEM my favs created:

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title pic: Screenshot of my Spotify