Times like these …

It all fucking sucks SO MUCH, y’all. The Covid-19 pandemic, I obviously mean. I am also entirely over it by now, and call me selfish, but I am in dire need of a bit of fun again. The other day, I was feeling nostalgic and realized how much I miss my pre-virus activities. Be it sports events or, and those even more, concerts.

I was hoping (against hope) that maybe, just MAYBE the BAND! tour in June would still go ahead, but when the government put a hold on all events that draw large crowds, such as sports, concerts and festivals, until August 31 AT LEAST, I knew what was going to happen. And here we are …

The whole tour got cancelled this week. Not just postponed, but CANCELLED. I legit felt my heart break the moment when I saw the news posted on FB and instagram. I mean, yeah, it’s for the best for everyone involved, health-wise. And yet, it sucks for the people involved, too. The band, their management, the venues, … and especially for smaller bands, this is a giant blow as they’re obviously missing out on a not exactly insignificant amount of their income, too.

I mean, yeah, it was predictable that this was going to happen that I won’t get to see and hang with my BAND! Homies in June, but still … 😦

When the one thing that brings you immense joy, pulls you out of the dark again and again, is taken away from you, it’s legit painful. At the same time, you come to realize how much that particular thing means to you. How it helps you to distract your mind from whatever’s going on in your life. How it’s a way for you to express yourself, to be yourself. Have something to look forward to.

I know, some will say, “Oh, COME. ON., it’s only music (sports, theater, shows … you name it)!” and I can assure you – it is NOT. It is so much more.

For me, it’s almost like coming home, into a place where I belong. The excitement of Gig Day. Being at the venue early and several hours before Doors, just to secure that front row spot. Talking to other fans, some of which have become Concert Buddies, or, in some cases, real friends, too. Likeminded people who happen to love the same kind of music you do. Exchanging stories about the band/s you’re going to see. Or about everyday life. All that.

And as soon as the magical moment is coming closer, you’re about to enter that venue, make your way to the barrier, you feel something inside you. Euphoria. As if all the crap that’s going on has been pushed away for a while. And finally, there they are. Your HEROES. People you admire. People who make you believe – in better days, and, even better, in yourself. People who bring you so much joy, who make you feel appreciated. Who re-fill your energy levels which had run dry. Who give you … LIFE. At least that’s the case for Yours Truly every time I am at a BURY TOMORROW gig, but y’all know that, ha! I am not lying when I say that I was looking forward to their little summer tour more than y’all can imagine.

Even more so, since I am starting to struggle by now with the restrictions, measurements, etc connected with this goddamn virus. It does affect my mental health by now, Pain Days included (around the Easter weekend, I had headaches on and off for over a week …), feeling disappointed, sad, all that. The BAND! gig my friend and I had wanted to go to was supposed to be some kind of therapy again, something to lift my spirits. But Covid-19 had other plans …

I keep reading that it could very well be possible that there won’t be ANY gigs until some time next year, and excuse me but that would be … devastating, to say the very least. Not just for the fans, but even more so for the bands and the respective event locations who will be hit even harder by then. It’s an all around shitty situation to be in for sure.

Thankfully, I have a rather large music library to entertain myself with, but … it’s … not the same as being at a concert. To sing the bands’ songs along, to feel the drums pounding through your body, to COME BACK TO LIFE, all that. As I said previously – call me selfish, but I miss that shit, y’all. And I need something to distract my mind these days. *sigh* And who knows when we’ll be able to enjoy live music again?

Trust me, while I am aware that it comes off selfish and all, I am also brutally honest here. I never thought I’d miss going to gigs *THIS* much, but here we are. Gigs were my anchor, in a way. But I won’t deny that in times like these, I have learned one thing as well: to appreciate what I have all the more. Having been able to see some of those bands, discovering new bands (Any Given Day and Blood Youth come to mind) while waiting for the main act, it’s something I will forever treasure deep inside me. Memories of those gigs that no one – that includes YOU TOO, Covid-19! – can EVER take away from me.

Having met awesome people through music and while waiting in front of the venue is of course an absolute bonus, too. And I honestly can’t wait to see them again – in the hopefully not TOO distant future.

In the meantime, times like these make me appreciate all those activities I could enjoy all the more. Don’t think I’ll ever take any of those for granted again …

Hang in there, folks. We got this. Even if it’s bleak these days.

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