Full circle

Four years ago, the movie that I didn’t know I *NEEDED* in my life hit the cinemas.

Four years ago, I was struggling, mentally, as I had a lot on my plate and only bit by bit did things start to look better.

Four years ago, almost to the very date, my friend and I had tickets to watch the “Top Gun: Maverick” preview in our fav cinema.

Four years ago, I was sitting in a huge dark room, and started grinning like an absolute buffoon the second the Paramount (German website) logo appeared on screen and the first notes of the “Top Gun Anthem” started playing. The second that huge aircraft carrier appeared and the plane action started, as well as “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins roared out, I was entirely engrossed in that movie.

I went on to watch it four more times that year, including a “Top Gun” / “Top Gun: Maverick” Double Bill. I rolled in for Round 5 in some kind of Maverick cosplay in 2023. I traveled to London for “Top Gun: Maverick – In Concert” in September 2024. I’ve watched that silly little plane movie countless times at home, because it was MINE to make and keep me happy, and no matter how often I watch it, I enjoy the sheer fuck out of it.

The year is 2026. Again, my mental health has seen better days (but also worse, ngl). I’ve been struggling a lot for months now, dating back to some time last year or so. A lot of crap going on which barely left me any room to breathe (not just figuratively spoken, as it’s allergy season and POTS is wreaking havoc as well). Completely depleted energy levels.

40 years ago, the OG “Top Gun” movie was released and Tom Cruise’s career literally took off. He became the super star he is.

Several cinemas all over the world heeded the call and celebrated the film’s 40th anniversary by showing it again on the big screen. I had already seen that one cinema a bit further away from me was going to show it as well, and in IMAX even, so I kept an eye on that, just in case. But I was also hoping that my fav cinema would add a special screening as well …which they did. And not only did they show the OG from 1986, nope! They did the double bill again.

Tickets were purchased immediately and I counted down the days until I’d be sitting in the theater again, watching the two films back to back. Because in times like these, one needs their little escapisms to keep them sane.

Wednesday, May 13, 2026.

I headed into the city to first have something to eat, then roam around a bit and finally roll in at the cinema. All the time, I was already smiling inwardly, because in a couple of hours, I’d be re-united with my TGM Family, and would be able to enjoy both movies again on the big screen. FUCK. YEAH.

Sure, the OG is a classic, a “cult movie”, that’s completely out of the question. However, I prefer “Top Gun: Maverick”. As I’ve said above, it was THE movie I didn’t know I needed at that particular time, and I still cannot put into words HOW MUCH that movie means to me. And just like it did the first time around four years ago, it lifted my spirits once again.
When Admiral Bates tells Mav before their mission: “Captain Mitchell. This is where you belong.” …I feel that line time and again. Because I had that feeling that I’d arrived in a place I belonged as well. The film gave me something to hold on to four years ago when I was struggling. It’s still a kind of Happy!Place for me now.

I left the cinema grinning and smiling – just like Mav does on his bike in the GIF above.

The impact “Top Gun: Maverick” had on me four years ago when I saw it for the first time is something I cannot even fully explain. And it needs to be said – I am down on my knees thanking Tom Cruise for convincing Paramount et al to shelf the film until it was safe to go to the cinemas again and watch it on the big screen, as opposed to release it to streaming platforms.

I know, the Man Himself will never see this, but I am beyond grateful. Music. Editing. Cinematography. Writers. The actors and actresses. Producers. And everyone else who was involved in creating the film that managed to “bring back that lovin’ feeling” in 2022. Y’all gave me something that filled a little void. That distracted me from the crap that was going on back then and which put me into some mental turmoil.

Four years later. Re-united with the TGM Family. And I still smile because of a movie.

It actually is more than “just a movie” to me. It is my anchor in stormy seas. My Emotional Support Movie. Something very special to me that healed me for a bit as well. Something I will hold in my heart forever, a place to return to when things are rough again.

And no one can EVER take that away from me again.

I hope that one day, I will be able to tell Tom Cruise personally how much TGM means to me, how it arrived just at the perfect moment in my life and how it helped me push through a difficult time. For now, I just leave the words written here – THANK YOU, TOM, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

*****
GIF courtesy tenor