Is it ME or …

does anyone else have that feeling that we’re stuck in some kind of alternate reality?

The pic above which I found on FB a while ago totally nails it. It seems like 2019 really was the last year which could be considered “normal”. Then, Covid happened and somehow, shit hit the fan once and for all.

I decided loooong ago already that I was going to steer clear of all kinds of politics on this here blog, but fuck’s sakes, it’s like someone unleashed utter madness lately. Right-wing politics on the rise, the whole Shit Show that is the current administration in the USA, the still on-going war in Ukraine, Gaza, and a plethora of other atrocities left, right and center. How’s one supposed to stay at least somewhat sane here? It’s almost some kind of Mission: Impossible.

Granted, I am still off relatively well, no rockets flying, bombs dropping, no natural disasters, a roof over my head, enough food and all, but oooof, y’all. The crux is while I try to stay informed about what’s going on these days, I am also in dire need to protect my mental health.

Having said that, when I had one of my very last physio therapy sessions a while ago, the PT noticed that I was like, ultra-tense. My body is exhausted beyond belief, but my fucking brain won’t shut up. As in, while I crave rest, my nervous system is on high alert. Not a great combination. PT then hit the nail on the head and said what I needed to hear (I mean, I. KNOW., but I needed someone to say it straight to my fuckface), namely, that I need a time-out. Just for myself. No strings attached whatsoever. Yeah, precisely. I haven’t been really away from here for a while (visits to the Old Stomping Grounds don’t count, they’re no vacation whatsoever). I would love to get away, and I am definitely looking into options.

The problem? There’s some water damage in my flat and I don’t know yet when that will be fixed, how long it’s gonna take, do I have to move somewhere (like a pension whatsoever) during the repair (was told that they might have to tear open the floor), you name it. Which is …a shitty situation, because I cannot really plan anything right now. I do hope that I’ll know soon, though!

However, that situation doesn’t really help my current state of mind.

Which is raging chaos.

The good news is that at least the Olympics are on which I am watching almost religiously. Throw in a TV show every now and then for good measure, or lose myself in a good book, as well as the usual stuff aka fandoms. Seriously fam: without having some shits and giggles with Fandom Friends online, I’d have gone insane a while ago already. I know, it’s not an ideal solution, but for the time being, it does the trick to just. be. silly.

Anything to calm the nerves and find some peace while the world is teetering on the very brink of another World War. The rapid onslaught of news 24/7. Sometimes, social media actually is more a curse than a blessing.

I know that I cannot close my eyes entirely to the harsh reality that is life. But who says I am not allowed to find means and ways to protect my fucking mental health? To have all those escapisms big or small to cling to when shit hits the fan? See … I still try to be creative in one way or another as well, as that – creativity – has been my outlet and I find it to be extremely cathartic. Immersing myself in a little project is always a welcome distraction as well. The problem? These days, it’s almost as if there’s some kind of block. I would love to work on my scrapbooks, or other journals, but once I’ve opened the box with all the crafting supplies, it’s like …now what?

But that’s also something – I cannot force myself here. Either, the creative juices flow, or they don’t. That’s what happens. It sucks, but right now, I just feel a bit detached almost, as if someone pulled the plug. I know “this too shall pass”, so I am not too overly concerned here. It’s just that I miss being creative right now. Doing something with my very own hands is so rewarding. 🙂

Anyway. The motto is that I will try to stay afloat as much as possible, even if the circumstances are anything but calm. I just hope there won’t be a (too overly high price) to pay at the end …

I’ll talk to y’all later again!
Toodles!

*****

pic: Facebook