Thank you

Dear Kaya,

it has been two weeks now since you posted on your socials that you’re stepping down as the vocalist of BLOOD YOUTH. I just didn’t have it in me to find the words to express my gratitude.

Admittedly, when I read your words, I did feel my heart break into a million pieces. But at the same time, what you wrote hit home, and I wholeheartedly understand and support your decision. I know this wasn’t easy for you, since you always said the only thing you’ve ever wanted to do was be in a band. However, after all that you have been through in the past year, basically ever since the world turned into chaos with the pandemic and your Dad passing away, it’s even more understandable why you had to do this.

Yes, to us, as fans of the band, this was quite the shock. But in all honesty, Kaya? I am fucking PROUD of you. Proud of you that you’re putting yourself and, even more so, your mental health first. That you listened to what your body and mind were telling you and that you drew the line and said, “I’m done.” That you publicly opened up about your struggles on your instagram – that takes courage.

Nothing is worth to sacrifice oneself, one’s health, for. I know what I am talking about, given that I have been there, and we all know how that ended. And I most definitely don’t EVER want to experience that again.

As I am typing these lines, I am obviously listening to BLOOD YOUTH, and I know that I have been extremely late to the party, since I only really started following y’all in February 2020 when I all of a sudden had “Playing The Victim” stuck in my head and decided to check the band out more thoroughly.

But.

This band and – ESPECIALLY – your lyrics helped me SO DAMN MUCH in the past year and a half. It’s clearly the band I didn’t know I needed in my life before I fell down the Rabbit Hole. I have had so much fun on this ride, and that is just another reason why I am so thankful for everything. (And yes, I will of course continue to support the lads!)

Kaya, I am not lying when I say that your lyrics hit home on a different level. I legit feel SEEN, a lot of stuff I am dealing with is being addressed in them. Therefore, it’s no surprise that I at some point last summer reached out to you on instagram and asked you if it was possible to write down the lines that are now inked on my arm for me. I appreciate this more than you will ever know that you took that moment out of your day to write them down, snap a pic and message them my way back in August 2020.

Each and every interaction, big or small, I’ve had with you on Twitter or instagram means the absolute WORLD to me. Be it the tattoo idea which you LOVED as well, or when I made a leap out of my Comfort Zone and sent you my free verse poem “Shadows” I had written 20 years ago …and your feedback on that one. I was legit floored here. Getting to read those words you wrote back about it almost made me cry because I was so overwhelmed. Like, when THE person whose lyrics resonate with you, you find yourself in, tells you that – I was over the fucking MOON for days on end!

I really treasure all of those small gestures, they make me smile, especially when I am having a bit of a rough time.

Kaya … all that is left for me to say is: THANK YOU.

Thank you for writing all those lyrics I could relate to in a very deep and personal way. Lyrics that reached those parts of my soul others barely ever did.

Thank you for being an absolute INSPIRATION.

Thank you for opening up about your personal struggles and having the courage to put yourself out there.

Thank you for being YOU.

Thank you for your kind words, the Likes, Retweets, replies – all that.

Thank you for giving me something to hold on to when everything else turned to shit. Something to believe in again. Maybe even in myself.

Whatever you’re up to now – I wish you all the best. You deserve to find peace and happiness in your life. And I hope that one fine day, I will be able to see you again somewhere and talk to you about life, the Universe and everything. Stay strong, Kaya!

So long and THANK YOU once again.

xx,
Kiwi

****

photo: Kaya’s insta, via Joe Guppy / jgvisuals_ (whom y’all should totally check out)

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