When I was a little kid, I loved sledding. Sitting on a sled and going downhill fast on that little hill not too far from the house I grew up in was one of the simpler joys in life. And even when I was older, I still tried to get some fun in the snow in. Because WHY NOT? I’d spend hours out there on the hill, having fun and a bit of an adrenaline rush as well. Once, I had found some ski wax in the basement which I put on the sleigh’s runners and WOOO-HOOOO!! Boy, was I fast!
For several years now, I have preferred winter over summer by FAR, because my body doesn’t deal too overly well with heat, and besides, I rather hide under a couple of blankets than wake up in a puddle of sweat, kthxbye. Unfortunately, the last REAL winter with heaps of snow, cold temperatures and all I experienced dates back to 2010/2011, and after that? Erm. There was barely any snow here in Berlin in the past years, and my old place was also not exactly covered in snow whenever I came for a visit there.
So I am sure y’all can image HOW excited I was earlier this month when there were not just flurries and random snow flakes here and there, but ACTUAL REAL SNOW covering the city. The joy! Temperatures below 0°C, snow, sun, all that. My kind of weather for sure. And it was enough to actually stay around for a bit. Including Berlin’s longest track to go sledding – right in front of my doorstep.
Unfortunately, I don’t own a sleigh anymore, because who’d have thought that I’d EVER experience a winter like that AGAIN here?? Plus, it sure was a bit too crowded there for my liking, anyway. Meh!
Then, there was this one weekend of February 6 and 7 when I all of a sudden realized that something was …off. To describe it best, I felt as if I was detached from myself. I was present physically, but had checked out mentally entirely. I was legit split up in two parts, felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and as if I was on the outside looking in. Which was SUPER weird, and something I hadn’t experienced in AGES. It was something I went through before my Big Breakdown in 2010, so it was something kind of familiar, but then again, it wasn’t. I think I faintly remember that I had some similar, albeit not as “strong” experiences when I was living here in Berlin already.
It wasn’t amazing at all, to be honest, and almost scary, too. My mind was roaming elsewhere, while my body was here in good ole Berlin. I mean … I slept through the fucking SUPERBOWL y’all, and that alone should give you another hint HOW effed up I was that weekend, given that I had been looking forward to that.
Anyway. Back to the snow days …
I was obviously a bit sad, too, that I couldn’t be out there at Hahneberg and while I was still struggling mentally, I at some point had had enough of being grounded. I put on gloves, warm jacket, warm boots and stomped around my little garden for a bit …
… well, I went to work, actually. If I cannot go sledding due to the lack of a sleigh, I shall do the next best thing:
BUILD. A. SNOWMAN.
Yeah, I know, it appears as if the snowman is wearing a dress, so I have decided that it’s actually a snow person, because who says that it has to be either – or? Why not both? 😉
Yours Truly thus was out and about for an hour or something, carrying snow, piling and forming said snow (since it was very crystalline, it wasn’t an easy task, tbh) into the snowy garden dweller and adding small black berries as eyes, buttons, and nose, as well as two twigs as arms. And yes, I deadass used a small plastic bowl as the hat. And y’all know what?
I had a complete BLAST being outside in the cold, in the sun, the snow. I was cursing, too, yes, because the snow sometimes didn’t stay where I had placed it (see: crystalline), but whateverrrrrrr.
I HAZ SNOW PERSON IN MY GARDEN AND Y’ALL CAN’T DO NUFFIN’ BOUT IT!
Real talk, though: yes, I may be 40 years old already (YIKES!), but who says that this kind of fun is only for the youngins? Kids? In my humble little opinion, you are NEVER too old to have some lighthearted fun, e basta. Moreover, we’re still stuck in the pandemic, the vaccination process here in Germany is slow as fuck, and I simply HAD TO be outside for a bit. There aren’t that many options if you want to avoid people but still need to break out of the monotony for a while. I was on my own. There were – with the exception of my next door neighbors who had a look later on – no people around when I kept myself busy. It felt good. It helped me to kind of re-align, if that makes any sense? I was actually HAPPY for some time. Being a little kid again, enjoying myself doing the simple things in life. In this case, building that snowy garden dweller.
That being said: snow’s gone again, and my little snowy friend was bravely fighting against melting away. It was adorable. Spring is in the air. It’s getting warmer again. And I plan some trips round here, to see something different than just my own four walls. And yes, I will be cautious, since I am in the risk group. However, I need to BREATHE again, some fresh air. Exploring spots in the area where I live, or which are close by. And as long as that is not forbidden, I shall enjoy myself out there for a bit. The city is big enough, there should be some spots for Yours Truly where I can be on my fucking own without a lot of other folks coming too close.
And as the story with my snowy friend showed me once again – sometimes, it’s the little things in life that make you happy. I embrace the experience I made. Throwing out sorrows, woes and worries and just be a kid again for a bit, not a care in the world. In the long run, this cannot be a bad thing, right?
Ocean Soul 