It was my Birthday a couple of days ago, and to be honest, the weeks leading up to it, I wasn’t exactly a fun person to be around, as I was super-grumpy. Like, Grumpy (from the Care Bears) x Grinch grumpy. The reason was that I simply didn’t know what I was gonna do for my B-Day. The original plan had – once again – fallen through, which left me in a real slump as well. I had hoped to be able to travel and go away for two to three days, but no matter what I was looking at, places were either fully booked or ridiculously expensive or both. Meh!
Being in a mentally very difficult place and at the same time bummed out about what to do for TEH day wasn’t a recommended combination, that’s for sure, fam. I just needed something to do, be it a little adventure or what-the-fuck-ever. Alas, there was nothing on the horizon and I was convinced that I’d see another Birthday without any real joy in it. (Note: I am not someone who actually celebrates, but being confined at home with legit nothing on the agenda to cheer myself up didn’t bode well.) So, my overall well-being was once again in a shambles, because while I keep saying that the Road to Recovery is never a straight line but comes with detours, road blocks, setbacks, dead-end-streets etc., it’s also really fucking exhausting if you cannot seem to catch a break every once and a while.
So, Lil Miss Grumpy Pants wasn’t sure what to do but sure that it was going to be yet another shitty ass B-Day. Just like the majority of those since 2020.
Or maybe …??
The solution came in while I was digging around in my little bag, looking for something, and well, there it was! The flyer of the massage parlor I had gotten in July when I went there twice because I was ridiculously tense and in pain, so that I had booked myself a deep tissue massage (which was the absolute bliss, y’all). Fast forward to a good week before my B-Day:
I sent the lady a Whatsapp message and asked if I could book a 60mins full body massage for my B-Day as the two previous ones had been such a relief?
Not much later, she got back to me and there we had it – I had one piece down for the Birthday puzzle. If I cannot travel, then I will for sure treat myself.
And “treating myself” is what I did that day. Because, you know? Me!-Time is essential every now and then.
While I was lying on the massage table, I said to the masseuse that “I’m about to start purring!”
She replied, “That’s good. Just relax and nap, if you want to.”
I didn’t nap, but sure relaxed. I was totally in heaven, that is for sure. What do you mean, the 60 mins of massage are already over???
The next stop saw me heading to the steak restaurant to feast on a very yummy Filet Mignon, ice cream for dessert, improptu mini-B-Day celebration with a non-alcoholic drink on the house, and then I went back home.
Since the day was still kinda young, I ran myself a hot bubble bath (also because I was still doused in massage oil), and relaxed some more.
And no, that wasn’t boring at all. On the very contrary! I realized how fucking MUCH I had needed a little time out, time for myself, for my overall well being.
This is also something which I have come to appreciate in the course of the years:
Sometimes, you really need to put yourself first, even if it may disappoint others. It’s not selfish, but essential. In the past, I would often ignore my own needs (actually, my soul’s needs), just to please others, to avoid the guilt trip that sure as heck was going to ensue if I dared put myself first. That I also lost myself in the process is another story for another time, but this much I can say: I not only ignored rest, including selfcare, but I also ignored the signs my body was throwing at me. Until I broke down …
I can honestly say that while it was just a short time out, it refilled the empty cup for sure. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, did something that was good FOR ME, and made the absolute most of an otherwise tricky (and disappointing) situation. No regrets, definitely recommended, 10/10, no notes.
Because who says that you HAVE TO celebrate, throw a party whatsoever when you’d much rather take a day of rest and treat yourself? Listening to my inner voice sure gave me the right direction, the hint I needed to figure it out what I was going to do. And I really felt at ease, and absolutely also AT PEACE because I did something for myself.
Which is what it boils down to:
Don’t ignore that inner voice that’s talking to you. You’ll burn out too quickly if you don’t. Treat yourself to a little time out, if you can. That can be anything – a hot bubble bath, a walk in nature, a museum visit, your favorite meal, watching a film in the cinema, shopping, whatever, or, as in my case, that massage. It’s always worth it to honor yourself and your innermost core. You will not regret it! I promise!
*****
Care Bear pic from Facebook
Ocean Soul 